Small Talk #2

Good morning and welcome to Small Talk, your weekly prompt for better conversation, the paprika in your sweet potato soup. Last week I offered some context for our small talk revival. So let’s just get started. (Note that this website version has information and links the email doesn’t.)

The Best Thing You Can Do Is Plant an Oak

And the second best thing you can do is plant goldenrod. Provocative statements, right? Yes they are, and also impossible to prove. But they are grounded in science and here’s how: Oak trees support more types of species than any other plant in North America. For example, more than 500 species of caterpillars rely on oaks to survive. Not exclusively—they’ll date other trees—but if there’s an oak around, those species can live their best life. And that’s just caterpillars (lepidoptera). The number of species that rely on oaks for survival are in the thousands! We know this because of some outstanding research some biologists did (one woman in particular—Kimberley Shropshire, working with Douglas Tallamy) and the U.S. Forest Service sponsored.

I love this topic for small talk, because you can ease into it while visiting with neighbors outside. Cross the street to where Caden is running his backpack leaf blower, wave him down, and open his eyes to the extraordinary ecosystem right there on the oak tree whose leaves he resents! One nice effect is to imitate David Attenborough, narrating in a whisper, close to a caterpillar scaling the trunk. But of course choose the style that suits you.

There is a higher-order point here: The reason we should grow native plants is because they support the highest numbers of native insects. Insects, your neighbors will be amazed to learn, pollinate 87.5% of the world’s plants. Insects also serve as a primary food source for most vertebrates (even animals we think of as ‘vegetarians’ eat insects—almost all birds do, even hummingbirds!). Without insects, there is no life as we know it. So when you plant an oak, you are starting a process that could support rich biodiversity for hundreds of years. And goldenrod, often maligned as a weed, supports more than a hundred species of lepidoptera! It’s also beautiful and grows a lot faster than oaks, so maybe try the goldenrod first and work your way up.

Oh and also! When you see bugs eating your shrubbery or bushes, it isn’t necessarily bad. In many cases, that’s just your plant doing its part and it won’t suffer much. You want bugs in your garden—just, the right bugs. But that’s a topic for another small talk.

You Ride A Safety Bike

Before the 1880s, the most popular type of bicycle was the one with the gigantic front wheel and the wee little wheel in the back. These bicycles were an instance of velocipedes, which included many ridiculous contraptions and still does today (recumbents). The big-wheel bikes were eventually nick-named penny-farthings because that’s two British coins, one big and one small—like the bike’s wheels. They were also nicknamed the boneshaker, because they were so uncomfortable and often dangerous to ride. Now, while Queen Victoria was nodding in approval at gentlemen in top hats and tails, pedaling these penny-farthings around London, some clever engineers in France conceived of a bike that (gasp!) had two wheels of the same size! Because these bicycles were inherently more stable and easy to control than the penny-farthings, they were nicknamed safety bicycles. As safety bikes grew in popularity, the penny-farthings became known as ordinary bikes—which seems like a euphemism. Today the bikes we ride are essentially the same design as the original safety bikes, just with scores of incremental refinements.

Now, bike rides are great for small talk. And I can’t imagine anything more pleasant than listening to a fellow rider explain the history of the bike that she’s riding right there next to you. Try it out! You can ride your bike all year long, by the way, you just need warmer clothes and a little extra caution—but that should be easy on your… safety bike.

Oh and also! Riding penny-farthings has seen a resurgence in popularity because people can’t get enough of quaint old things. You can take lessons on a square in London today. Just ask your AI-enhanced search engine—it will show you videos.

Secrets of Baseball Food

I don’t want to keep you, but here’s one more. Or actually, a three-in-one.

Small potato chips go in small bags and big potato chips go in big bags. It’s not just your imagination—they sort the potatoes into two processes, one for the smalls and one for the bigs. This way you don’t feel ripped off having only a few giant chips in a small bag, even if those few chips are the same weight.

Chicago-style hot dogs are usually served ready-made so people don’t take too many tomatoes. It’s easier for vendors to provide a self-serve bar, but those pricey tomatoes make this not worthwhile.

The original manufacturer of Cracker Jack toys was a laundry accessory company, who realized that the dies they used for cufflinks and collar inserts could also be used to make tiny cast soldiers and cars and such. (Also, when we sing ‘buy me some peanuts and Cracker Jack,’ that’s redundant because Cracker Jack has peanuts.)

These are all great for small talk, as we yawn over the World Series, but not for the reason you’re thinking. Here’s why: I don’t know for sure that they’re true. I think they are, because they come from a credible source—but only one source, which I haven’t been able to corroborate. So while you’re pretending to watch baseball, ask your friends if they’ve ever thought about how many original sources are required to substantiate a fact? This will inevitably lead to conversation about statistics, which will lead you full circle back to baseball, and more snacks.

So now I should really let you go. Geez that cold front sure came on schedule didn’t it? The kids are going to have to bundle up come Tuesday. Well, that’s good—help em burn off all that sugar.

Have a good one,

Kipling Knox