Small Talk #1
Good morning! I’d like to propose that today we begin to address a serious problem facing humanity. Yes, I know we have a lot to worry about these days. But in difficult times, we need to remain diligent about the humble concerns. Otherwise polite society will collapse. And I’m convinced our society is very much at risk. Why? Well, from the alarming deterioration of small talk.
Perhaps you’ve noticed, as I have, that in our passing moments we don’t have much worthwhile conversation. Obviously the distraction of digital media has contributed to the problem—we wait in line with our phones, not with each other. But also, I think many of us are out of practice. Maybe we’re afraid we’ll say something offensive. Maybe we’re too preoccupied by our growing existential worries. In any case, I want to do something about it. So I offer this to you, the first issue of Small Talk, a prompt for better conversation.
The Irish Invented Halloween (not Lucky Charms)
The original idea of Halloween is that on a grim day in autumn, the souls of the dead return to their homes. To defend against these souls, people dressed in scary costumes and put out ghoulish decorations to scare the spirits away. This tradition began more than a thousand years ago, among Celtic people, in a festival called Samhain. In particular, it emerged among the Celts of Ireland. Today the Irish still celebrate Halloween with gusto: dressing up, decorating, and throwing parties from Dublin to Derry.
The original tradition raises an interesting question, perfect for small talk—why did people feel like they needed to scare away the ghosts returning home? Why didn’t they welcome them, as you would your dear family? Ireland is a mysterious place, and the answer may be buried with the old Celts. Anyway, in the 600s, along came the Catholic Church, who co-opted the pagan festival as they liked to do, and created All Saints Day on November 1, so Halloween (or All Hallows Eve) was relegated to Oct 31. But who’s having the last laugh now? Well, candy manufacturers, for one. And this curious tradition—where kids demand treats in exchange for ‘protection’ from vandalism—also appears to date back to Samhain, when people left out food for the unwelcome spirits. Later, people dressed up as the spirits themselves and visited homes demanding food and drink. It makes you wonder if the real spirits were like, Hey, you’re stealing my bits!
This is rich material for small talk, in the office, in the grocery store—maybe even in your church! But might I also suggest introducing a bit of small talk during trick-or-treating itself. Rather than the usual repetitive exchange with the kids, you might greet them at the door, saying ‘Welcome home!’ Then, before they run away (seizing a grip on their costumes if necessary) you can explain these Halloween origins to them and to their parents cowering just beyond the light of your doorway.
Oh and also! Lucky Charms was invented by John Holahan of General Mills in 1964 in the United States. The marshmallow bits were protected under U.S. patent # 3,607,309.
When Trees Go to Sleep
Trees change color in the fall because they stop producing green-tinted chlorophyll, exposing other pigments...that are already in the leaves! It’s beauty by subtraction—like when the party ends and you turn off the music, only to discover the chorus of crickets singing in the night. Chlorophyll isn’t a party, but it does help plants use sunlight to create sugar, which might feel like a party to them. Besides chlorophyll, trees have two other types of pigment: carotenoids (yellows, oranges, browns), and anthocyanin (deep reds and purples). Those terms aren’t great for small talk, but the idea is that these lovely fall colors are always present in the leaves, and trees differ in color based on the combination they have. At this point a good small talker would ask, But why do trees turn color and drop their leaves in fall? The answer is that in temperate regions, the leaves of trees would be damaged by freezing temperatures—so they shed the leaves as protection and draw their energy down into their roots over winter. In spring, the chlorophyll party starts anew, and trees sprout leaves of luscious green. So in a way, you might say trees go to sleep in the winter, and autumn is bedtime.
Here’s how you might use this in small talk: When a new person joins your team and leaves a bad impression, you say ‘Well now, let’s give him a chance—come fall we might see his real colors.’ And then when you get confused looks, you can share these marvelous facts about trees.
Oh and also! Evergreen trees don’t change color because they’ve evolved leaves (aka needles) that have a wax coating to protect them from freezing. Except! Some coniferous trees—like larches—do turn color and shed their needles. Because nature loves exceptions.
George Washington’s Glasses
If you have time, here’s one more…
At the end of the American Revolutionary War, a group of anonymous military leaders threatened to revolt against Congress and even General Washington himself. This was a huge drag for Washington, who really busted his ass keeping the whole revolution going for several years under horrible circumstances. The complaints of the leaders sounds legit—they wanted Congress to make good on unpaid pensions, among other things. So Washington called an emergency meeting of the officers of his army. He didn’t enjoy public speaking, and rarely improvised, so he took out a written speech and unfolded it, but halted. Then he paused, and put on a pair of reading glasses, which he’d recently received from an optician. Few people had seen the general’s glasses, because they embarrassed him. As he put them on, he said, “Gentlemen, you will permit me to put on my spectacles, for I have not only grown gray but almost blind in the service to my country.” Then he delivered what would become known as the Newburgh Address. According to witnesses who attended the speech, the introduction of the reading glasses touched the hearts of officers, opened them to his message, and helped quell the revolt.
You might consider this for small talk before a friend or colleague has to perform. Often a person’s willingness to make themselves vulnerable wins over an audience!
So there you go. Let me know if you’ve enjoyed these small talk starters—or, really, anything you feel like sharing. Sunny day today. Looks like most of the harvest is put up now, but still a little corn in the fields. Just got back from up north where most of the leaves are down except for the aspen. Too bad about the Illini last night. Maybe next time. Hope you get outside and enjoy this weather.
Have a good one,
Kipling Knox
